I honestly don't think most people understand the words they say.
Here's the brutally honest responses I'd like to offer, to some of the most common statements I personally take in, in my unique situation.
- "Why didn't you ever have a baby of your own?" - You mean why didn't I birth a child? My son is my "own". And I don't know why I didn't conceive a child. Maybe I didn't stand on my head long enough, or eat the right foods, or count the days on the calendar right.
- "God kept you & your ex from having a baby, because He knew the divorce would happen. See it as protection."- Really? So, let me get this straight. God knew that it would all hit the fan, so we weren't able to conceive a baby. Yet, we endured 3 and a half years of an adoption process to bring home a child from a hard place, and that's better than a biological child enduring parents divorcing? I do believe that God can turn all things to good, but I don't believe that He prevented conception due to pending human error.
- " You'd be so cute pregnant. Maybe one day you will be!" - Uhm, thanks? You'd be so cute as a foster or adoptive parent. Maybe one day you will be.
- "I wish you could experience the miracle of giving life." - Let me calm down before this response. This one strikes so many cords in me, that it's a struggle to gather my thoughts. I'll put it as simple, and as kindly as I can; adoption gives new life.
I stand on my belief that God ordains families. We make mistakes, and if we allow him to, God will still create something beautiful from our junk. I honestly don't understand why God chose me to adopt my son. There were so many wonderful women who loved on him.
Morgan loved on, and cared for my boy, before I knew he was my son. And she is doing amazing things in Haiti, with her organization Little Footprints, Big Steps.
Melissa met my boy the same day I did. After a long day of medical attention, she held him on the way back to his "home".
Elizabeth made my boy smile, and shared in laugher, when I couldn't be there.
So many people loved him, yet God called me to be his mom. So many other women could've cared for him, yet I get the privilege. So many families could've been the perfect image for him to grow up in, yet despite our chaos, God gave us the honor.
Again, I don't understand God's ways. But I know he has the most perfect plan for our lives. Yes, experiencing pregnancy would be amazing. A short 9 month journey. However, the long journey of adoption, was exactly where my life was meant to travel.
If you are being led to give new life to a child through foster and/or adoption, please don't hesitate.
And although I may not be able to choose whether I conceive a child or not, you can choose to open your heart to foster or adopt.